I've blown a few things in my day
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
