she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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