Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
