I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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