summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
