hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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