There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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