Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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