we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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