No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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