its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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