So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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