They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
