Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
