it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
