If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
