But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
