i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Success! We fucked roommates!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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