I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize