Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
