1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
