sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize