My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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