Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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