I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
