If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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