went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
