y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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