so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
