If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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