Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Who died my cat blue again?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
