white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
