Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
