he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
