you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
