You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
