I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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