The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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