I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
