hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
