I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
