what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
