walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
