??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
