pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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