I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
