The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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