I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
