her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you win again, gameday.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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