Buhtt sex?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
