She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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