508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
