Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
