he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have aggressive nipples.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
