thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
