So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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