Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
