my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
