that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
