:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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