I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She needs sedatives and a leash
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
