this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize