let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
