I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
